If there is one thing that everyone can agree upon when it comes to divorce, it’s that it is predictably unpredictable. Just when you think you have it figured out (to some degree) and you are on the path of recovery — wham! You walk right into another wall that leaves you feeling disillusioned, confused, and completely unsure of what you are doing.
Yet, in all your upheaval, the one thing to remember is that transitioning from being married to being divorced is that it often occurs in cycles: a period of calm period followed by upheaval. You start feeling somewhat settled and even positive about your future, only to have another change take place that makes you feel you are back at square one. But you are not — it just feels that way. And you are not alone. Most people going through a divorce experience a ‘roller coaster’ feeling. Giving yourself permission to take the time (lots) you need, moving forward eventually becomes easier.
Both awareness about the process and what to expect and more importantly what not to expect, is key.
1) To feel secure that you made the right decision. You will have moments when you ask yourself, ‘what have I done?’ ‘Did I make the wrong decision?’ Feelings of security sometimes feel fleeting, other times they will drag on with what seems like forever. Only towards the end of yours divorce — if even then — will you feel secure in your decision. It takes a long time to get to this place. Give yourself the time and space you need.
2) That moments of calm will last. They will not. They may linger longer as time progresses. Remember that divorce and feelings of calm do not go hand in hand — but also remember that this doesn’t mean that feeling calm and centered will not occur. They will, but with a lot of fits and starts.
You can read the other half of this article on the Huffington Post here: http://huff.to/1Wv5W38